Guest post by Che “Rhymefest” Smith. Follow him here: https://twitter.com/rhymefest
Leaving 2014 there were so many signs of change on the horizon.
Political and Social upheaval happening locally, nationally and worldwide.
Acts of Terrorism, Protests, Police brutality, Political Changing of Gaurds, and constantly evolving technologies daring all of us to keep up.
I have no doubt coming into 2015 the pace at which the world is moving is entirely to fast for those of us who are trying to make it through another day.
Recently I’ve been witnessing the effects of this complex world on the people I love.
Men and Women, Friends and Family.
Every day I get a call or text about sadness, confusion, loneliness depression and even thoughts of suicide.
I’m not a therapist or professional and admittedly unqualified to deal with such burdens in a way that can give sustainable treatment.
I am however a good friend, who will not abandon you, nor enable you to continue feeling sorry for yourself.
My loved ones all have so much going for them and panic over what they perceive is missing.
Many of them don’t even know what’s missing which creates even more loneliness and anxiety.
I see friends and family who try to replace personal emptiness with sexual partners, drugs, religion, Money, careers and even seclusion.
2015 should be the year we protect our spirits.
There is an Attack taking place on good people. It’s trying to enter our homes our family members and us.
Be vigilant and fight back with kind acts, selflessness and socializing with other good people.
1) Anxiety- try to calm down, breathe deep and slow. If it’s to bad please go to urgent care and see a doctor.
2) Depression- don’t debate the judge in your head he wants you to engage him so he can convince you you’re not as good and capable as you know you are. He only knocks for 30-60 seconds before he goes away find a something to take your mind away when he comes to judge. You can win every time.
3) Loneliness- find a social group or hobby get out the house. Internet will make you more depressed find a group of real people to collaborate with.
4) Suicidal Thoughts- don’t emotionally minipulate others for attention this is the worst thing you can do! It’s Despicable. suicide is an act of temporary insanity and if you feel that way please go consult a professional. Your friends and family can’t help you. You need a professional.
Hey everyone! I hope all is well. Can you believe that there are only 2 days left of this month?
I’ve been working a lot professionally. This month has been all about fundraising, proposal writing, and preparing for our Spring 2015 Programs. For the first time ever, we are launching two cohorts at once, a program for High School Students and a program for 18+. We welcomed two new staff members, and have been working on a lot of our internal communication systems. I start my days at about 9 or 10 in the morning and lately have been working until 12 midnight.
In terms of balance, I try to have at least one day a week where I don’t leave my house. I still work – conference calls, applications and proposals, etc., but I do so from the comfort of my home at least one day a week. Since our programming is after school and on Saturdays, we have events on one or two Saturdays next month, and one of our classes will meet on Saturday afternoons. I have reserved Sundays for family time. My in-loves (we don’t use the term in-laws) recently moved closer to Chicago, so I try to spend at least my Sunday afternoons and evenings with them.
I did discover a few new tools that I want to share:
We are using Formstack https://www.formstack.com to manage our applications and other important forms. It’s not a free tool but it is reliable, has really strong analytics. Every time we release apps, we’ve used a different tool. Formstack is very popular with other organizations.
I am now using Calendly to help schedule meetings. Basically, you have your own appointment page, and it syncs with your Google Calendar. Rather than going back and forth with someone on availability, I can simply send them a link to my Calendly based on my availability and the meeting can be scheduled without much hassle. Here its he link: https://calendly.com. Calendly is free and low cost.
I shared this beauty on my Instagram Page:
I’ve never seen a desktop wallpaper that allows you to separate files. I downloaded it for free here: http://www.abowlfulloflemons.net/2014/03/a-fabulously-organized-desktop.html.
Incredibly honored and humbled to share that I have been selected as the January 2015 Skinless Project Inspirational Woman!
You are the executive director of Donda’s House. Tell us about the initiative?
Donda’s House Inc. was created by Kanye West, Che “Rhymefest” Smith and myself to provide access to premium arts instruction to youth. We were named after Dr. Donda West, the mother of Kanye, who was an educator for 30+ years. She understood the value of literacy, and prior to her death, she wanted to put a state of the art recording studio in High Schools across the country. To date we have serviced over 115 youth, and we add new youth every semester to our initiatives!
Why was such a program a necessity in the areas where you operate?
Arts education & programming is routinely the first thing to go when schools and governments face budget crisis. There is also a push toward STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) often at the sacrifice of the arts. Donda’s House is a necessity, because we know that youth who study the arts have more positive life outcomes. They are critical and creative thinkers, problem solvers and have higher self-confidence and esteem.
You are a inspiration in yourself, tell us about your personal story – why focus on at risk youth?
At-risk youth, often to no fault of their own miss out on certain things – the love of two parents in a healthy relationship, quality food which fuels health and a quality education which is the passport to a better future. If those of us who have overcome challenges, can be a source of support, inspiration and guidance, we can make up for those deficits. I used to run track in High School, and sometimes if one of my teammates ran a poor leg, the rest of us had to make up for it to try to win the race. My personal mission in life is to find those children and help them make up for whatever losses or hurdles they have trouble clearing.
Do you feel you have beaten the odds?
Interestingly enough, I feel there are always odds to beat. I overcame certain challenges by earning a college education, marrying the love of my life and raising our children in a two parent household but there are new challenges. As long as there are children who aren’t eating, who are being abused by the ones they love and neglected by systemic and generational neglect, there are still more odds I have to beat.
As a society – what can we do to improve the chances of success for these children?
Everyone has the power to do something. In some cases, it may be a donation (to a tax deductible organization), in other cases it may be volunteering one’s expertise or time. Everyone has the ability to do something. America as a society is one big village and we are only as strong as our weakest link. We have to unite and support each other so that we can collectively face our challenges as a country.
Finally – you have changed your pain into power – how did you do it Donnie?
Faith is my lifeline. I don’t believe that my birth was an accident, nor do I believe that my pain was an accident. I try to take every single thing – good or bad in stride and use it as fuel to leave this world better than I came into it.
Check out the entire interview & feature here: http://skinlessproject.com/inspirational-woman-january-2015-donnie-smith-2/
I’ve been having a lot of conversations with my husband, with my friends and with family members about dating and marriage. One of the things that I said was don’t confuse possessiveness OR clinginess with love and attention. In my first marriage that ended in divorce after 5 years, my ex husband didn’t have any friends or interests outside of our relationship. That was a recipe for disaster, because anything that “competed” with him for my attention was dismissed or frowned upon, even if it was healthy.
When my current husband and I started dating, we talked about how sometimes a person can squeeze something so tight that it squeezes the life out of it.
Don’t get me wrong… quality one-on-one time is very important in a relationship. My husband and I go on a date alone at least once a week and we try to take a vacation outside of Chicago for a week every year.
A healthy relationship and marriage should be one where you are allowed to evolve and grow. Speak to your partner regularly about his/her goals, and try to support him/her in those goals. Of course, you don’t want to support him/her in their goals if it is something that will harm them (e.g. my husband is diabetic, so I’m not going to support him going to an all you can eat dessert bar or event). Our identities are multilayered. We can be lovers or spouses, and parents… but we can also be entrepreneurs, ministers and volunteers. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a person who wants to stay at home to take care of the kids, but I do think there is something wrong if someone feels forced to stay at home and take care of the kids. It’s also normal at the beginning of a relationship to be “addicted” to each other. It’s so exciting to feel a deep connection with someone that you’re attracted to, especially if one of your life goals is to get married, or find a monogamous relationship, but don’t lose sight of your dreams, your goals and your path, for the sake of a relationship. Speaking from experience that usually ends in something negative… the end of a relationship. The end of your happiness. or worse, the end of who you truly are…
This is dedicated to @jarosha on Instagram. I posted this picture on IG and she wanted to know more about the other categories.
I actually downloaded the questions from one of my favorite bloggers Rosetta Thurman of Happy Black Woman. Here is where you can download your own copy: http://happyblackwoman.com/the-annual-reviewpreview-an-opportunity-for-intentional-reflection/
The main idea was “What I want to Bring Into My Life in 2014″ and some of the questions included (1) What do I want to learn in 2014? (2) Which old activities, habits or behaviors do I want to stop doing? and (3) What will my ideal day look like next year? Since I did not create the questions, I don’t want to copy them all hear, but assure you that Rosetta has everything you need!
Also, here is my Year in Review Scrapbook Page for 2014!
If you’re looking for more tools to set goals for this year check out my other recommendations here:
31 Days to Reset Your Life – http://happyblackwoman.com/31dayreset/
Create a Vision Board – http://donnienicole.com/2013/12/27/big-reveal-my-vision-board-for-2014/
Conduct an Annual Review http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/how-to-conduct-your-own-annual-review/ This is the most thorough goal-setting planner I’ve ever seen. If you love details, check this out!
I’d love to be your digital accountability partner!
Please head on over to my Facebook Page and share one of your goals for January! I’ll post three of my goals for the month of January! I’ll check in with you online on February 1, 2015: https://www.facebook.com/donnienicolesmith. Please also “like” my Facebook page, so that the updates will show up in your feed. Cheers to you & your intentions for this year!
Happy New Year!!!
Personally, I’m a wife, step mom (including a 16 year old who lives with my husband & I), dog mommy (to a 1 & 1/2 year old Black Labrador) & avid scrapbooker.
Like most people, I wear many hats, and the key to staying on top of things is organization! I also have to confess that I taught High School for over 10 years, so I LOVE lists, and treat my time and life like one big lesson plan lol! I’m a planner & organizer by training and by nature. My mom told me this funny story yesterday about how I used to line up my shoes and make my bed up (crooked) but I was so proud to “clean my room” at age two! It’s definitely in my blood…
If the system gets too overwhelming for you, don’t feel like you have to continue it. It is never too late to press the “esc” button in your life if something isn’t working for you! The thing about a time-management system is that you have to actually like it to make it work. My system is based on years of trying out different things and then finally I found a combination of tools that really help me to advance my personal and professional goals, stay on top of my appointments and keep my family in sync (without pulling out all of my hair lol).
Here are the tools that I use:
(1) Paper Planner (Weekly View + Weekly Notes)
(2) Start: Your Quarterly Guide to Goal Domination by Krysta Masciale + Ruthi Auda
(3) Colored Ink Pens + Highlighters
(4) Google Calendar
(5) Print-out of Daily Tasks (with a place to check them off) – Download here: Weekly Checklist
(6) Accountability Partner
Where To Get The Tools & How To Use Them:
1. Paper Planner – I purchased my paper planner at a store called Paper Source in early December. It’s by a company called Post by Graphic Images. I like my planner because it has a Weekly Calendar View on the left side, and a space for notes on the right side. You can also purchase planners at Office Supply Stores, and Barnes & Noble has a nice selection too. I prefer a planner that is small so that it can fit in my purse! I started with a Franklin Covey, but it was just so big and bulky, I abandoned that system pretty quickly! I love this paper planner, because when I meet with people I usually write down follow up and action items. It’s nice for those notes to “live” on the same page as the appointment.
Here is how it looks both outside and inside:
2. Start: Your Quarterly Guide to Goal Domination by Krysta Masciale + Ruthi Auda can either be purchased digitally or a hard copy can be shipped to you.
I purchased the digital version and then printed out the pages.I like this tool because it is strictly for goal setting. It includes a section for writing goals in different areas of your life (including spiritual, investment, work, networking, personal development, physical well-being, financial, exploration & family/relationships). You basically set goals for each of those areas in your life every quarter and there is a reflection section at the end of each quarter. You then “schedule” time to work on your goals, so that they move from the goal phase to the action phase. Here are some of my Quarter 1 Goals:
- Explicitly spend time every week Fundraising (work)
- Attend one networking event per month (networking)
- Hang out with bestie bi-weekly (family/relationships)
So that lead me to create a weekly fundraising appointment (“Fundraising Friday” from 10 am – 2 pm), find one networking event to attend per month (may be a meeting, actual networking event, other organization’s event, etc.) and schedule time every other week to meet up with my bestie. I had a ton of other goals, but hopefully you see how this system works.
(3) Colored Ink Pens + Highlighters – My favorite brand of pens for my planner include Paper Mate Ink Joy (300 RT 1.0 M ink), and Pentel RSVP (Med). I like the brands because the colors are very vivid and bright AND they don’t bleed through the planner ruining the page behind. I use different colored ink to mirror the colors in my Google Calendar. For example, personal & social events are written in hot pink, Donda’s House stuff is written in purple, and hubby’s stuff is written in black ink. I adopted the highlighter system from Myleik Teele (Founder of Curlbox). Also, check out this great piece about Myleik: “Mentor in My Head: 54 Life Lessons from Myleik Teele: CEO of Curlbox.” Basically, Myleik makes a daily to-do list and at the end of the day she uses highlighters to update the status of her task. For example, orange highlighter crosses off items that were completed, yellow highlighter crosses off items that were “touched” but not completed and pink highlighter crosses off items that were “not touched” therefore “not completed.” Yellow highlighter & pink highlighter items are then moved to the following day until the tasks are completed. Her color choices may be different but that’s basically how the system works. I usually try not to have more than three things on my to do list per day (on top of the daily tasks like reading my bible, checking e-mail, etc.).
(4) Google Calendar – Google Calendar is my main time-management tool. Google Calendar is great for “sharing” calendars with others. For example, I help manage my husband’s calendar, and both of us can make updates and it automatically syncs in all locations. Paper calendars don’t have that level of efficiency (unless you + family members use one calendar…) We also maintain an organizational calendar (that large groups of people have access to). Similar to my paper calendar, I use a color coded system.
(5) Print out of daily to-do list – I created this Weekly Checklist in Microsoft Excel and will print one out every Sunday during my weekly journal/scrapbook/weekly planning time. I don’t want to copy these things daily into my planner, so I will use my little weekly checklist instead. You can download the template by clicking here:
To print the template, highlight everything that needs to be printed (including all of your daily tasks and the cells through Saturday.
– Click “File”
– Click “Print” from the File List
– Click “Page Setup”
– Click “Landscape” instead of Portrait under Orientation
– Click “Sheet” and check the box that says “Gridlines” (which will print the lines between each row and column)
– Click “Ok”
– Click “Print”
(6) Find an accountability partner and try to check in at least once per month. My accountability partner is my best friend, and we will meet bi-weekly to talk about our goals (and share lots of laughs like we always do).
I have a weekly planning session on Sundays (to ensure that my Google Calendar + paper planner are in sync for the remainder of the month), and every night I update my paper planner (which is where my daily appointments and meeting notes live). If I had a meeting with someone, I take the action items and make time to complete them (whether it’s sending them some information they requested, conducting e-mail introductions or looking up something they recommended to me).
If you have ANY questions, please feel free to leave a comment and I will answer. I wish you well if you try out my full system, parts of the system!!!