Overcoming Fear of Rejection

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Approximately one month ago while reading my favorite website/online magazine Clutch, I saw that they were accepting submissions.

I’ve been reading Clutch Magazine for about 4 years now. It is the premier online magazine for women of color. Clutch has been where I’ve gotten my news, fashion inspiration and reflective articles. So it was nothing short of a miracle that they were looking for new pitches.

One night I decided that I would write up a pitch about scrapbooking. After submitting the pitch I was immediately told they were interested but wanted to read the full piece.

I spent the next few days writing it up and sent it off. I received a response that said they weren’t sure that’s what they were looking for. I said “thank you and I’ll resubmit something soon.” Fast forward one month and I received an email saying that they were going to publish it AND I’d get compensation for it.

When it comes to writing professionally, you have to be willing to embrace the idea that you may get rejected. The last few pieces I’ve sent to various publications were duds. Even the authors of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series – Jack Canfield and Mark Victor received 134 rejections.

The point here is that every no gets you closer to a yes. Rejection is a part of the process of refining. And in my case, I had to exercise patience. Had I resubmitted right away, the piece would still be just a word doc on my computer. Please check out “Scrapbooking: Writing A Letter to the Future” and leave a comment or two over at Clutch. Thanks!!!

Here is my baby: http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/05/scrapbooking-writing-a-letter-to-the-future/

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Get Your Instagram/Camera Pics Sent To Your House!

I unsucessfully attempted to print my Instagram photos via a one hour photo printer (Walgreens). Instagram photos are meant to be printed as squares which unfortunately isn’t an option at my Walgreens.

After some investigation, someone recommended a free app called Postal Pix. Postal Pix quickly downloaded and I was able to create a free account. I could then decide on the size pic(s) I wanted:

4 x 4 Square

5 x 5 Square

8 x 8 Square

OR

4 x 6 print

5 x 7 print

8 x 10 print

They also allow you to purchase a Mouse Pad or Aluminum Prints (yep, photos printed on metal – absolutely stunning but spendy and more geared toward home decor).

After uploading my pics and inputing my information, my photos arrived less than one week later:

When it comes to my photos I can be a bit impatient because I’m always ready to scrapbook my pics but when I opened the package (I ordered all 4 x 4 squares) I couldn’t be more happy with the print quality and the size (which fit nicely into my Project Life – We R Memory Keepers 4 x4 page protector page which includes 9 prints). The company did a great job capturing the effects and colors of the digital image which included photos that had been edited using both the Instagram features and Hipstamatic features (both are photo Apps on the iPhone). Whether you’re a scrapbooker or you’re just ordering prints, the squares are PERFECT.

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Organizing A Scrapbook Idea Binder

Over the weekend I decided to organize my Scrapbook Idea Binder.

Since I started scrapbooking 10 years ago, I’ve collected magazine tear outs, printed how to guides from the Internet, and created sketches for pages & albums I’d like to recreate.

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My process included:

1. Removing all pages from sheet protectors and creating a stack.

2. Reading each page and determining it’s category + writing a little note about something I loved. If the layout that I liked was on a page with a random advertisement or a layout I wasn’t crazy about, I cut it out and glued it to a white sheet of computer paper.

3. If I came across a layout that didn’t match a category I already had, I wrote a new category on my Master List. My final master list included the final categories:

A. Layout Ideas – this category was for layouts that I love in general and hope to make one day.
B. Journaling – ideas for writing stories & recording memories
C. Numbers – how to incorporate ages, charts & graphs into layouts
D. Organization – how to bring order to supplies, tools & craft spaces
E. Theme: Baby – I make a lot of gift albums and frames for and about babies so it was only natural that I’d include this category for easy access
F. Decor – how to make frames, shadow boxes & other items for the home
G. Theme: Birthday – ideas for birthday layouts
H. Minis – everything related to making mini albums which for me is anything less than 8 x 8 inches
I. Photos – photography ideas
J. Kid’s Projects – crafty things to do with little ones or fun
L. Sketches – nothing but layout sketches created by other people

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4. Next, I created index labels for the divider tabs for each category. I was sure to insert the tabs in the binder in alphabetical order.

5. While sorting though each page I created a pile for each category.

6. I then inserted each page into a sheet protector and put it into the binder in the appropriate category. I ended up throwing away a lot of pages that were outdated or no longer inspiring for me.

7. I scheduled a date on my calendar to go through the binder again (1 year from now).

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The final product contained 125 sheet protectors (with 2 pages per sheet protectors). So I have a total of 250 pages of inspiration. I need to go through a similar process for my recipes, home decor ideas and fashion ideas. The entire project took about 6 hours (3 hours for two days). Binders are an effective organization tool. I use them to organize several projects in my personal and professional life.

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Web Roundup

Depression is something that a lot of women silently suffer from. Check out this article from Clutch Magazine to see if you should get some help: http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/05/the-signs-of-depression/

Five Free Things You Can Do To Help Your Finances: http://finances.yourway.net/5-free-things-you-can-do-to-help-your-finances/. Very practical advice about how to make your financial situation better.

Tracee Ellis Ross is one of my fashion icons. Every role that she has played including her role on the hit TV sitcom “Girlfriends” has left me wanting more and more of her style intuition. So via Clutch Magazine, you can subscribe to her Facebook Page and come across some beautiful images: http://www.facebook.com/traceeellisross

30 Essential Tools for Web Developers & Freelancers (Via Stepcase Lifehack) http://www.lifehack.org/articles/technology/30-essential-tools-and-web-apps-for-freelancers.html Most of the apps on this list are free (or have a very minimal cost). Whether you need to better manage your time or you’re an entrepreneur there is something for you on this list!

Style Tips for Picking Your Interview Outfit: http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/05/style-tips-for-picking-the-perfect-interview-outfit/ First impressions are everything in the job market. Make sure you’re sending the right message!

So there is my roundup for the week! If you come across something that is worth sharing please drop the link in the comments section or e-mail me. Sharing is caring ;)

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When Life Gets In The Way

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When life gets in the way, you need to either move or stand still…

There are only so many hours in the day and so many days in a given week. We all have our responsibilities and as much as we fantasize about it, there isn’t a bottomless pit of money that we can dig in to.

Last week I had every intention of doing A Week In the Life… but oddly enough life got in the way. I had several work projects to finish and by the time I got home I just didn’t feel like uploading all of the pics or carrying my camera around all day. I was very excited about this opportunity to zoom into my life for 7 days but it just didn’t happen.

When it comes to matters of the the mind and matters of the heart, try not to force it. I could have forced myself to take pictures or even forced myself to journal but I just wasn’t into it and I had to embrace that, acknowledge those feelings and move on. Interestingly enough, I ended up scrapbooking for about four hours on Friday and three hours on Sunday… Just not A Week in the Life…I love the concept, I love Ali Edwards but I just had to be honest with myself and let it go this time.

Remember, everything is not going to happen, but whatever is supposed to happen, will happen.

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Filed under Health, Inspiration, Project Life, Reflection, Scrapbooking, Work

Making Ourselves Ugly

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“When you say those things you’re making yourself ugly,” is what my husband said to me after hearing yet another negative comment about myself fly out of my mouth. In most relationships that would have been a red flag, but in mine it was a much needed reality check. That quote was the second half of another sentence that started with “you’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me but…”

As women, we are sometimes our harshest critics. There is a little voice in our minds that sometimes speaks to us saying we’re not thin enough, smart enough or beautiful enough. That voice has been created by the media, by individuals who wanted to degrade us for one reason or another – ex lovers, jealous women or even family members who were projecting their own negative self images on us. It may have been the family member who pinched the nostrils of our “too big” nose or the cousin or uncle that warned “don’t stay out in that sun too long or you’re going to get dark.” All of the negative perceptions of our physical appearance that we have taken in all of our lives play back to us at the most inconvenient times.

In this situation my husband was asking me to pose for a picture and I kept putting up barriers between my face and the camera because on this particular day that negative tape had been playing on repeat and I did not feel like my normally camera ready self and said something not so nice about myself out loud.

On this day, when my husband said that I was making myself ugly, I understood exactly what he meant so much so that it scared me. When we don’t feel well physically or emotionally our head hangs low, our posture is slouched and the tone of our voice becomes a mere echo of itself. We don’t make eye contact, we move slower and the smile – which is the same in every language and the most disarming gesture we can deliver becomes imprisoned by an ugly frown or tight lips.

So I made a decision that I would no longer subscribe to the negative self talk channel and when I did, I would fight the one negative thought with ten positive thoughts. I also decided that sometimes if we tell ourselves something over and over, we start to truly believe it. So even on days when I wake up feeling bloated or can’t find anything to wear because it all feels unflattering, I continue to tell myself that I am beautiful and worthy of whatever blessing I find in front of me.

Affirmations are real. Don’t be afraid to talk back to that misinformed person inside of you. Remind him or her that God created you and God doesn’t make mistakes. Remind him or her that tomorrow is always a new day and your poor decisions do not have to determine your future decisions. Know that the more you talk back to that voice, the less he or she will have to say to you!

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Guest Post: How Much Do You Really Love Yourself?

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I speak and write about vulnerability. This is not the most popular topic these days when it “seems” easier to be guarded, defensive, and protected. In reality, it takes a whole lot more effort to be something you are actually not. It also takes time to just be who you actually are. Vulnerability is ultimately liberation. It is liberation to be yourself. Freedom to make mistakes as you figure things out. Freedom to love yourself radically. Freedom to be who you always have been that got buried underneath years of hurt, pain, fear, and limiting beliefs.

It is time to remember. Remember what you have always been. Remember that you were created with everything you need to live life. Remember that place, that still place inside that gives you life. Remember because sometimes we forget, not on purpose. Remember that you are light. Remember that you are a manifestation of God. Remember that you are life. You are energy. You are alive. remember. When everything tries to make you forget, remember. Forgetting does not change what you are. What you are has always been there. Remember that you are pure truth. Remember that you have power. Remember that you are this moment.

Whenever you think living life more open and honest just can’t be done, simply remember and let all of that love rush over you. Then take the next step, and the next knowing you are supported fully.

Kandice Cole is a speaker, writer and vulnerability seeker. She writes regularly at kandicecole.com

She is on a mission to help woman tell their stories without apology so they can live a life fully aligned with their values.

She is currently writing a book about embracing vulnerability in real life entitled, Vulnerability is Sexy.

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