Whenever the seasons start to change, I think about what, and who I need to let go. Relationships take work, and it can be a challenge to figure out and establish relationships norms. Sometimes, you have to make a decision to let someone go, and to no longer be a part of your life.
How do you know when it’s time to let someone go (friends, romantic partners, etc. )
1. It doesn’t feel good to be in their physical presence. You feel discouraged, unhappy, anxious, stressed, etc. in their presence. The vibe or the feeling that you get is probably strong. It may also be evident when your feelings change immediately before engaging with the person.
2. The individual is the common denominator of “mess” “stress” or drama in their own & potentially in your life. Generally there is a pattern of behavior that keeps being repeated over, and over, with different people.
3. The person is verbally, emotionally, spiritually or physically abusive to you. This could also include manipulation. Abuse of any kind is not acceptable. Take the necessary steps to ensure your safety and security, and seek healing if you have been abused.
4. You’ve attempted to help the person & they are not heeding your advice (or the advice of others). You do not have the capacity or the responsibility to help everyone, especially those who are unwilling to change or make adjustments.
5. The person is a “suicide bomber” who doesn’t have anything to lose or care for. They are destructive & volatile & its only a matter of time before they destroy you or things that you care about. Be careful with people who are willing to do anything to hurt or harm others. That same venom could eventually be turned on you.
6. The person doesn’t respect the boundaries that you’ve established. They call or text when you’ve asked them not to. They share confidential information with others. Express your desires and your feelings, and if someone doesn’t respect that, it may be time to let them go.
7. The relationship is one sided. You seem to be the only person investing in the relationship or friendship. You feel used, depleted or taken for granted.
8. Other people that you love & that love you express concern or notice red flags and it may be more than just one person in your life. EVERYBODY in your family isn’t crazy, or “hating.” People that love you may pick up on things you can’t see. Especially if you are “blinded” by love.
9. The person is regularly dishonest with you, so the trust has eroded, and non existent. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Once trust is violated, it requires great care to rebuild it.
10. When you think about the future, you envision yourself and your life better without this other person. Close your eyes and imagine your future. Do you have positive or negative feelings when you consider the other person’s role in your future?