What To Do When You’re Told “No”

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Caption: My beautiful soror & owner of Phatbulous Fashionista & I at our (PRO)ject US Nerd Prom Event (Donda’s House collaborative Fashion Program).

Last week I received two pieces of devastating news. In both cases, it was connected to Donda’s House. When you apply for a grant, it’s almost like applying for a job… you wouldn’t even apply if you didn’t think you were qualified. When you first hear about a grant, it’s so exciting! You imagine ALL of the possibilities of what you’re going to do with the funding, and after you click “submit,” you eagerly anticipate the news.

In this case the news came to my inbox. “We regret to inform you…” I exited out of the screen with a thud. This was the second piece of bad news I’d received that week. My first thought was “I just want this week to be over…” I crawled over to my hubby and laid on his chest and I started to cry. He was very encouraging and my level of “sulkdom” was not as bad as it could’ve been but for the rest of the day I operated like an inflated balloon. I didn’t want to take very many calls, wasn’t motivated to do any work. I was choosing to be sad.

The next day I woke up and figured that I had to work overtime for four “yes” (es) to replace those two “nos.” The first thing that I did was to consider what were similar opportunities that I could find? Which relationships do I have that could help me get to those similar opportunities? I went to work. I started e-mailing, proposal writing and texting my tribe. (NOTE: Your tribe is a group of people who share similar values that may do similar work, they are also the people who are super encouraging and that lift your spirits). On day two, I was down but not defeated.

The one thing I tell myself in those situations when I don’t get what I want is, “Everything happens for a reason.” It always makes me feel better. So I repeated those words to myself the entire day. The best cure for a “no” is overtime! After you’ve been told “no,” you have to do twice the amount of work to replace those “nos.”

The kingdom of “sulkdom” is always willing to embrace you, but you’ve got to be a temporary visitor and take that return flight back to reality and back to your dreams!

CLIQUE/CLICK: Quirky, Brown Love posted 200+ black bloggers divided by categories including Fashion, Lifestyle, Parenting, you name it! Be sure to bookmark and give them some “clique/click” love: http://www.quirkybrownlove.com/2015/08/200-amazing-black-bloggers-list.html

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Filed under Inspiration, Reflection, Work

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