I used to hate to use this word because I always felt guilty. I started feeling like people were taking advantage of my kindness and vulnerability and at about 25 years old started making it a point to make “no” a regular part of my vocabulary. I read a quite that said “no is a complete sentence” and I couldn’t agree more.
2. Let me check my calendar.
People will impose on you if you allow them to. This simple phrase is reminder to self and to the world that you control your time and you don’t have to bullied into spending your time in a way that you don’t want to. This also buys you more time to consider if you actually WANT to do something.
This word pops up on the iPhone and it is wonderful because it allows you to screen your calls. Don’t feel like you have to answer every call.
How many times have you built up resentment and gotten frustrated because you felt like you were by yourself? People can’t read your mind. Ask a specific individual for help on specific tasks.
5. I’ll wait.
This is a public speaking tool. As a teacher sometimes my students lose focus. Rather than scream at the top of my lungs I calmly use this phrase and eventually, the students “tune in.” I’m sure this could work for parents too!
6. No, thank you.
This is the real-time face-to-face version of “decline.” It’s polite, short and sweet.
7. Do you have a budget?
If you’re an entrepreneur, especially in the beginning of your career, people will assume that your services are free or they may expect you to donate your services. That should be a choice. At least by asking about a budget you can get the conversation started about compensation in a professional manner.
8. I do & I will
Two words that I said on my wedding day to my husband. It was a lifetime commitment that we made to each other and I am so grateful that we chose each other. I honestly still remember our wedding day so vividly. It was one of the best days of my life!
It’s easy to get into complaint mode. To talk about what is not happening. Some people weave blankets of problems and challenges and then wrap themselves in it. I try to be the person in the room that not only recognizes the problem but that proposes and encourages others to determine solutions.
10. Can I?
This is the opposite of “can you” and is a good way to gain control of a situation. Can I leave? Can I say something? it’s less accusatory.
11. I feel & I think
These go along with “can I” and they are great to take ownership of your feelings. In the same breath, no one can tell you how to feel or what to think. Making “I Statements” is one tool in the healthy communication and conflict mediation toolbox that I use often.
What are your priorities? Once you determine those it becomes very easy to make decisions about your personal, professional and social life.
This was my word of the year in 2012 and it motivated me to be results-oriented and intentional about everything.
This was my word of the year in 2013 and it was a spiritual reminder to let go and let God. Surrender is the ultimate expression of faith and trust.
15. Incompetent Cervix
Two words. A condition that made me miscarry at 5 months pregnant. A condition that was caused by a rape at the age of 12 and that made me a mommy to an angel. I will never forget my baby girl and my first born. Her heartbeat will always be an invisible song in my heart!
Memories are important to me. Even more important is preserving those memories. My legacy lives in my scrapbooks. They are evidence of the life I live and the person I am.
Sometimes all people need is access. That is the word I keep at the forefront of my work as director of my organization.
I love being a wife. I love to nurture my husband, to laugh with him and to challenge him to be better. I love to dream with him, at times to cry with (and sometimes on) him, and I love to win with him. I also love all of love, support, laughter, advice and happiness I receive as a wife.
It’s my goal. I’m talking Warren Buffet, Magic Johnson, Oprah Winfrey, Madame CJ Walker status. Not on some selfish materialistic stuff, but I want to be able to employ good people, leave a legacy and trust funds for my kids and future grand kids, and change the world.
This is my word for 2014. I want to ooze influence. I want my name, my word, my taste and my experience to have value.
This is day 2 of #worthythirty! Be sure to check back in tomorrow!