While on Facebook today a picture of one of my guy friends came up. On his arm was a beautiful woman with everyone gushing about how great they look together. This wasn’t a problem for me but I know it was for one of my girlfriends who was in a serious relationship with said guy and unfortunately she still has to have a relationship with him. *sigh* I felt a little foundation shake on her behalf, so I know it must’ve felt earth shattering to her. So what would I tell my friend whose Mr. Right felt like she was his Mrs. Wrong?
Make peace with the fact that he has moved on. To make peace is a constant choice that is never absolute. Peace involves pushing boundaries, regular negotiation and sometimes you need outside reinforcements (like counselors, good friends and a time-consuming hobby). Allow yourself to mourn the loss of your love but quickly tuck it away into the dungeon of your heart and walk back upstairs to the rest of your life.
Stop trying to figure out why he left. Even if you ask him, he’s probably not going to tell you the truth… for your own good. Anything that he tells you is going to be negative or a half-truth. Knowing the truth would require a side-by-side comparison of you and the new girlfriend and your already fragile heart can’t bear the weight.
Figure out what you’re going to do differently next time. The only person you have control over is you. Maybe in your next relationship you’re going to focus on building the friendship first. Maybe you’re going to avoid premature intimacy because it clouds your judgment. Whatever it is, think about what you have learned from your time with your Mr. Right and carry it like GPS into the next relationship.
Compare him to other guys you’ve dated. Sometimes without realizing it, we typecast for the leading role in our lives. Do you have a habit of dating men in the same industry, with similar interests or personality types? Maybe it’s time to break the mold and try something different next time.
Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Is it time to lose that extra 15 pounds you’ve been wanting to lose? There was that job opening in California or New York that you briefly daydreamed about last week. Enroll in a new class or do something as simple as reading a new book. Bonus points if you do something that your Mr. Right didn’t enjoy or understand.
The best way to fight back is to move on and seek happiness. Understand that Mr. Right was really Mr. Right at the Time and with there being so many men in the world you have to get your mind, spirit and heart together so that you can be someone else’s Mrs. Right!