My bestie, my hubby and I were having a conversation recently about dating and we all came to the conclusion that a woman has to bring something to the table, she has to be self-sufficient, is she is going to attract a man who has even a little “somethin’ somethin’.”
A woman who has a job, a car, an education, and a hobby is a woman who can stand on her own two feet. She has enough life experience to have good conservation, she’s probably a good problem solver and she doesn’t reek of desperation. Women who don’t have much to bring to the table are either (a) easily manipulated because they are looking to have their basic needs met or (b) easily disposable because a [good] man generally wants to combine what he has with his partner. He doesn’t want to be the only one doing all the work… especially in the beginning of the courtship/relationship. Once he realizes that there isn’t much to gain besides sex, he’s literally on to the next.
When you look at the popular celebrity courtships of the day Jay & Bey, ‘Ye & Kim, even Michelle & Barack… all of these women had their own careers & their own wealth before meeting their men. They also become trusted advisors, business partners and irreplaceable assets because they have something that they can teach their men. They are literally partners, or equals because they weren’t looking for handouts or for sponsors… We women love our lists & we love our standards, but we also must set the standard ourselves.