When single, we all know exactly what we want. From the skin color, to the height, to the type of package and paperwork that he comes with… we could make a Criminal Profiler blush! But at what point does “the list” become a barrier between you and the type of love that you’ve always wanted?

There is nothing wrong with preferences and wishes. Visualization is a wonderful tool that will allow you to imagine and “manifest” the type of relationship that you want, but you should think about it more in terms of a wish list than a check list.

There are some things that are non-negotiable and those “non-negotiables” are not the same for everybody. For you, it may be religion. For someone else, it may be educational level. The point is your non-negotiables shouldn’t necessarily be long enough to fill a scroll because the truth is… there are a lot of good men and good people out in the world.

Think about your best qualities and your worst qualities. We all have them. Maybe you’re a little scatterbrained, or you have commitment issues, or you’re moody? What would happen if someone overlooked all of your positive qualities because you were a procrastinator? Maybe you made a mistake in your past – and it let to a permanent change in your life. Would you want someone to hold that over your head and judge you even though you’ve learned your lesson and you’re a new person?

I’m not saying throw your standards out of the window. All I’m saying is that a “wish list” rather than a “check list” will open your mind and your heart to something new. You’ll look in a direction you’ve never looked before. You’ll return a phone call you thought you’d never return and you’ll see beauty and potential in something that someone else discarded or overlooked…

Co-Founder & Executive Director of Donda's House, Inc. Wife to Che "Rhymefest" Smith. Believer. Writer. Scrapbooker. ΣΓΡ.

One Comment on “The Dating Checklist vs. The Wish List

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