I was talking to my girlfriends recently about the fact that I would soon be celebrating 3 years of marriage. I told them that at this point things had “gone bad” in my previous marriage. One of them asked me, “what does bad look like?” And I searched my mind to come up with concrete reasons and here is what I came up with:
1. You’d rather stay at work late than be at home with your partner.
2. You find yourself explaining, apologizing and covering up for their behavior in public that either hurts, embarrasses or frustrates you.
3. When you’re in the same house you want to be physically separated.
4. You find yourself getting very defensive when people around you question the relationship or your behavior.
5. You stop dreaming about the future. No fantasies about vacations or future experiences. You’re stuck on just getting through the day.
6. You’re getting abused physically, verbally or emotionally.
7. You no longer want to share things with the person – funny things or interesting things. You’d rather keep them to yourself.
8. You’re always sad or depressed and can’t seem to find the source.
9. You start having physical health problems: acne, gaining weight, high blood pressure or migraines.
10. You feel like you’re trapped.
Remember, if things are really bad you don’t have to stay. Leaving or breaking up may be difficult but you’ll get through it and be so much more at peace when you get away!