FEATURE: Birds of a Feather… What Do Your Friends/Relationships Say About You?


We make a series of judgments about someone based on who/what they are attracted to.  I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. It’s just human nature. No matter who you surround yourself with, always remember that they are a reflection of you and that includes both friendships and romantic relationships.

Example: A woman who has on visible labels especially her clothing could be perceived as high maintenance or materialistic. To others she can look pulled together and she can look like she cares about the finer things in life.

Example: A person who curses loudly in a restaurant while with a group of friends could be considered ignorant. They could also be looked at as fun & charismatic.

Example: A man who says “he’s taking life day by day” and doesn’t make plans could be looked at as irresponsible or even unemployable. There is a difference between someone being unemployed & someone being unemployable (that’s an entirely different post altogether). This same man could also be looked at as spontaneous and flexible.

Also know that what you are attracted to also sends a message. There are some men who once they find out that a woman is “addicted to shopping,” they instantly lose interest because they make the judgment that she’s shallow. Once a woman finds out that a man has kids she stops accepting his calls because she assumes that means “baby mama drama.” No matter how premature the judgments or illogical, understand that we all make them. Some of us are better at filtering those judgments than others, but we all get instant first impressions. If you’re in the dating world, or even if you’re looking to make new friends think about what red flag signals you may be sending without even knowing it.

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