After countless conversations with guys and my own experiences (I’ve been wifed and asked for my hand in marriage more than once, one guy even tried to trap me with a child), I’d like to share some insight on what guys are looking for when they decide to tie the knot.
(1) Positive energy & attitude. No one wants to be with a depressed, cynical chick. Now that doesn’t mean you have to be little Miss Sunshine all the time, but your good days should outweigh your bad days.
(2) Domestically Competent. Call it sexist, elitist or whatever “ist” you want, but every man wants a woman that can cook and clean. In this day and age you get extra points if you know how to fix a button, bake dessert from scratch and “line him up” with some clippers. Women can continue to invisibly burn bra’s and treat the kitchen like it has some invisible fortress surrounding it, but you better believe that domestic capability ranks high on the “wifeable” list.
(3) Goal-Oriented & Intelligent To marry someone is to enter into a conversation that never ends. You have to be able to “converse” with your man (bonus points if you know that “conversate” is not a word) and you have to have goals beyond the next twenty-four hours. Heck even the trappers (women who try to trap men with babies) can comprehend goal setting, aiming and reaching.
(4) Sexually Open-Minded We’ve heard it a million times – a man wants “a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed.” Do not make declarations about what you will and won’t do. 15 -20 years ago, head was negotiable but in 2010, it’s just not. It’s kind of like granite countertops and stainless steel appliances – it should come along with the package deal of being married. The key here though, is that the whole world does not need to know how open-minded you are. Think of it like G-1 classified information between you and your fiancé.
(5) Supportive. Last night, I went to see “Who Do You Love” an indie film about Chess Records and one of the things that struck me was when Mr. Chess left his wife to be with Ivy (a.k.a. Etta James). He loved his wife madly and passionately, but she was not supportive of his dream of opening up a club and starting a record company. Now I’m not saying that you have to support something ridiculous (under no circumstances is it okay to spend $1,000 on his “dream” to win the $300 million jackpot), but you have to know your man well enough to know when something has captured his attention and you have to show interest (ask questions about it, offer advice, constructive criticism) and if possible HELP (make some phone calls, type up a proposal, etc.) but never, ever, ever dismiss it because that is the quickest way to send your man running to arms of another woman who will support him… Stroke your man’s ego, and you’ll have him forever…