Even the most confident woman has her day where she gets jealous. Perhaps your girl is looking sideways at a new friend. At other times, it may have nothing to do with another chick, she may be envious of the time you spend at work or irritated at one too many Boy’s Nights Out. So why do we get jealous?
1. We feel threatened… Sometimes female friends can be waiting in the wings, in order to land their plane if they have the opportunity. Although you may think your “homegirl” is harmless, women sometimes can smell the scent of skank a mile away, and like the undeniable smell of skunk, we try to protect ourselves and our surroundings from getting sprayed. It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of that funk!
2. We don’t feel secure… As long as we know how you feel and what your intentions are in the relationship, we’re usually good. We’re either content within our title – girlfriend, fiance, wife, or we’re in a flux because we’re trying to figure out what we have and where it’s going. Do what you can to help us understand what we have, and at least then we will know how to handle our emotions. Side chicks or mistresses are eternally in an awkward position and because of this there will always be some jealousy for the main chick (definitely not endorsing infidelity but I’m just being honest. If you’re juggling multiple women and they aren’t aware of each other – prepare for the ensuing drama).
3. We feel out of touch with you. Perhaps you’ve withdrawn and seem detached from home or the relationship. This will definitely make the green eyed monster rear it’s ugly head.
4. Someone/something is getting something that we are not. It may be your job or it may be your friends, but we feel like you are valuing something more than us. Perhaps you get home from work, and then engage in a two hour conversation with a friend. We ask “How was your day?” you give a shrug, and then get cold. Now that isn’t a problem if it happens every once in a while (everyone needs space/time to themselves) but if it becomes a pattern (which for most women is about three days lol) then we have a problem.
5.Your behavior/appearance or patterns drastically change (no consistency). All of a sudden you start wearing new cologne or you change your haircut. You usually come home every day by a certain time and then all of sudden you take on a new project (when you were just talking last week about how you hate work!). Any drastic change is usually a red flag for us, as you would see a red flag if you noticed a drastic change in our behavior. Imagine if your chick is a jeans & hoodie type of girl, and then all of sudden, when she steps out of the house (for her weekly massage), she’s dressed in 6 inch stilettos, a form fitting dress that hugs and her curves and her “special occasion” makeup. You’d certainly call a “time out.”
6. Communication is out of sync. You stop responding to texts or don’t answer our calls when you’re outside of the house. Rather than telling us something up front, we find out information by accident and then rather than inform, you have to explain. Not a good look…
7. You have a reputation or you’ve done something in the past to violate our trust. If you have a reputation for something, even if you tell us different, the issue will be on the back burner cooking up and ready to “explode.” Or perhaps you’ve done something, you’ve been dishonest, you’ve cheated, you’ve “omitted” parts of a story. Trust isn’t won back instantaneously – it takes time.
8. Someone or something triggers bad thoughts (this is directly linked to number 7). We could be having a grand old time, but then we see a story of Tiger Woods. This may trigger reminders of your infidelity. Or we see a text or a letter that talks about how much you love your “friend” in her red dress and heels, next time we see a chick in a red dress it may “trigger” that bad memory. Again, winning trust takes time.
So what can you do if your girl gets jealous and what is the line between the occasional jealousy and the over-the-top your chick is really crazy – run for the nearest exit crazy?
1. Compliment your woman and show her lots of affection. Nothing makes a woman feel secure and valued than being showering with compliments, hugs & kisses. Confident or not, every woman wants to feel desired.
2. Keep female associates and possible suitors in check. Let them know that you have a woman and that you respect her and don’t want to do anything to hurt her. Be up front – especially if your chick gets bad vibes from a girl. If one of your “friends” approaches you in a romantic way let us know before it gets out of hand. Now if your chick looks at every woman with suspicious eyes, then you have a problem.
3. Communicate regularly and often. Don’t do the Houdini and become inaccessible every time you walk out the door. Your woman needs to know that she can depend on you, and that you will be there for her when she needs you. Keep your phone charged. Check in and communicate when you’re not gonna show up. Respect her time and respect the attention she gives to you.
Being occasionally jealous is totally normal, but if your chick starts SNOOPING and going all Dog the Bounty Hunter on you, then you have a problem. Remember that women are territorial, that skanks sometimes release an invisible scent (kind of like carbon monoxide) that is not detectable by men, and that at the end of the day if we’ve committed ourselves to you, we want to be sure that we have the same commitment from you.