Originally Posted: March 19, 2010
Teaching is the best birth control… (I see 150 + little darlings Monday – Friday). I’m well past the “Oops!” phase, although I do get a little nervous when Auntie Flo shows up tardy for the party. Jazz Yaz is music to my fallopian tubes! At this moment in my life I have no intention of having children… at least not in the next 4 – 5 years.
I don’t hear my biological clock yet… but I do get googly eyed when I see mommies & daddies pushing strollers in the park. I pause and discreetly stare at moms to be, and occasionally ask “when are you due?” Whenever I call my mom and I tell her “You have to sit down for this…” news, she always says, “I’M HAVING A GRANDBABY?” and I always say, “HECK NO!” We laugh… I am an only child and my mamma has already pledged to be with me at least the first month whenever (if ever?) this imaginary munchkin comes along.
But I also know the reality and I’ve “crunched the numbers” over and over again in my head. I know that when/if I become a mom, all of my energy, time and money will be spent investing in my child. I’m still investing in me and my relationship. Am I (are we) ready to divert that attention?
I’ve heard that the first few years are rough. Teething, up all night, potty training. I’m worried that I don’t have the patience.
But I also don’t want to have any regrets. For as long as I can remember, I always said that one of my major goals in life was to become a mom. I want to leave my mark on this world, and leave this empire that’s being built to my genetic offspring.
Who knows what the future holds right? Whenever I think about the possibility, I get terrified. Life is so good right now. Seeing pictures of little ones, nurseries, cribs and thinking about being the architect of this huge social experiment (parenting is social experimentation after all) kind of makes me intrigued but I don’t know…
This week has been a deep, philosophical, introspective week for me guys… bear with me please!?
PHOTOS: Borrowed from http://www.kanyewest.com/. The baby is Don Crawley The 3rd a.k.a. DC3PO The Youngest Fresh Kid Ever. His dad is Don C. (Kanye West’s manager). These are the kind of pics that make me googly eyed lol.