Originally Posted: March 20, 2010
The latest Wall Post on my Facebook page was one of those annoying facebook apps that said, “Are you wifey, sideline hoe and jump-off: Take The Quiz.” I quickly hit “remove.” I thought about a conversation that bf and I had where we talked about the difference between “wife, wifey, mistress and buss down.” Turned on the news and right after Tiger Woods announced his return to golf, one of his jump offs Joslyn James (pictured above), unleashed a series of text that he’d sent her (talking about everything from golden showers, making her sore, problems at home to almost ruining his life). For more of the texts/story go here:http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/03/18/2010-03-18_xrated_text_messages_that_porn_star_joslyn_james_claims_are_from_tiger_woods.html
When a man (or woman) is married, or has a live-in boyfriend or girlfriend (monogamous partner or “monog”), and starts to have a strictly sexual relationship with someone else (without the knowledge of spouse or monog), then he/she becomes the jump-off. The jump-off is on vampire status (see the D-lictionary), made aware of spouse/monog, and is warned about the danger of the relationship and sworn to discretion/secrecy. Jump-offs generally have NO emotional connection, there is no such thing as a date (especially during daylight hours), the relationship is purely sexual. Most importantly, jump-offs are not encouraged to initiate conversation and only have limited access to their “partner.”
So it’s harmless right? As long as she keeps her mouth shut. Unfortunately, most women are motivated by something more, and there will come a time where whatever you are offering her won’t be enough. She will always want more time and more money. She wants to know about your wife and your kids. She wants you to confide in her. She wants that number one spot (and will stop at nothing to get to it or at least punish you for not allowing her the chance).
While you try to rationalize with yourself, and your spouse/monog if caught that it’s strictly about sex, the love of your life will have a hard time understanding how/why yougave so much of your time and energy to jump-off. Moreover, she won’t understand why you didn’t want to explore your sexual fantasies and desires with her… because unlike jump-off, she has your best interest at heart. As she learns the truth about your sexual exploits, your words will echo in her head (“I love you with all my heart…” “I will do anything for you…” “You are the best woman that I’ve ever had…” “I love my family…”) and she will cry, because jump-off will make her even more insecure. frustrated. resentful.
Jump-offs will destroy you. While acting like the secret relationship is fulfilling (and even convincing themselves that you really do love them), they will try to get others to share in their hurt. When spouse/monog calls, or in the case of Tiger when lawyers call, she will embarrass you. She will not consider your family or your children and she certainly will not care about the feelings of your wife. While mistresses (that’s another post for another day) create double-lives, and have an emotional/intellectual connection and are usually long term, jump-offs are dispensable/disposable and if she acts up (starts to catch feelings, starts digging too much about the home life) then he’s on to the next one.
Jump-offs aren’t called that for nothing, EVERY relationship has a cost, and your jump-off will get paid in one way or another. Every relationship is an asset or a liability and more often than not, jump-offs are liabilities.