Originally posted: Friday, January 29, 2010
5.Your partner will get on your nerves (& vice versa).There will be times where you need some space/breathing room & your partner needs space/breathing room. This does not mean that the marriage is falling apart. It simply means you need to spend some time within yourself. Ideally, after this space, your bond will be just as strong if not stronger.
6.Try not to go to bed mad, or start the morning off mad.Tune in to the “energy” of the space & your partner’s mood. If you notice that something is “off,” ask about it. This type of policy is very successful for couples because it allows you to get everything off your chest, into the air, rather than allowing things to build up (which causes resentment).
7.Separate accounts is not a horrible idea. The number one reason why people divorce is because of money/financial issues. This is also a way that “control” can become an issue. When you get married, it’s important to maintain some aspects of your own individual identity and a good way to do that is have your own checking accounts. There is nothing wrong with having a joint account for joint responsibilities, but I also think it’s important to have your own too!
8.The wedding is not the most important part of the marriage. Many couples get so caught up in the wedding day, that they neglect to think about the actual marriage. What about the day after the wedding, one week later, one month later? The wedding is important and should be a reflection of the couple and a celebration of the union, but that should not be the primary concern.
9.Major purchases should be discussed/agreed upon.You have to have a clear conversation about how you are going to handle bills, debt created before the marriage/relationship, and household purchases. Come up with an amount, perhaps anything over $500.00 should be discussed? It doesn’t have to be an approval thing where you’re getting “permission,” but you have to approach the marriage/family finances as if you’re co-partners in a business.
Check out What I Know About Marriage Part 1 here: https://donnienicole.wordpress.com/2010/04/22/what-i-know-about-marriage-part-1/