To fall in love and commit to love is scary. Not scary movie when you know someone is about to die scary, but goosebumps, paranormal, OMG my horoscope was right scary. It’s like walking on black ice with no traction shoes – at any moment you and all of your “stuff” could be in the air, and there will be nothing you can do about it.
For me, love has always appeared out of nowhere. Driving down the road of life and right when I plan to change lanes *BAM* love cuts me off. Shifts my focus – sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing you can do about the fear/terror/anxiety, except for continue to trust your significant other, and remain open and honest.
Fear can sometimes cause terrible behavior – like jealousy, temper tantrums, or withdrawal. It can turn healthy insecurity or skepticism into full blown panic attacks or depression and most of all, it can lead to damaging an otherwise healthy relationship. There is no hallucinogen more powerful than fear. Ultimately, the fear is caused by a lack of control (of one’s self or another).
In the past, I’ve gotten very angry with myself when I told myself to stop caring but could not get rid of the longing or stop my fingers from texting “How are you?” When I told myself to stop crying or not to cry at all and the tears poured out like a tsunami after a horrible “heart quake.” I had essentially lost control. The point of true love is losing control! Letting go of barriers and blockages to allow growth. Trusting someone enough to give them the most precious thing you have – your love.