Commitment Isn’t Enough

Originally Posted: February 27, 2010

The bf and I were talking tonight and we had an incredible conversation about the importance of maintaining goals in a relationship. It’s not enough to just be together, and unfortunately many people stop there. Individually we have our five, ten (or even 20 – 30 year plan if you think about your pension/retirement) plan. We make checklists and add (or drop) appointments from our smart calendars, and we have to approach our relationship/marriage the same way.

1. What is it that we want to accomplish within the next five years? Perhaps it’s relocating? Having children? Redecorating the house?

2. Where do we see ourselves in 10 years, 20 years?

3.Where do we want to travel before we die?

The key is to plan and to hold each other accountable for pursuing and reaching your goals. I’m certain that the problem in my last relationship was that we were not “in sync.” We were not moving in the same direction and after a while the truth was that we had no intention of moving in the same direction.

The ultimate goal should not be marriage. It should not be the commitment and even after you achieve whatever you believe is your ultimate goal, you have to look your sweetie in the eye and say “What’s next?”

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