Dear Stevie J,
I have watched Love & Hip Hop – Atlanta this season and as a daughter and a wife, I had to write this letter to you. In a Hot 97 interview, you said you would not want a daughter to date a man like you. Although I respect your honesty, the problem is that you are setting an example even now for the type of man your daughter will not only be attracted to but will date and marry. One day your daughter Eva is going to see footage of you publicly disrespecting her mother Oluremi (Mimi). She is also going to witness you sending your girlfriend to a clinic to abort her half-brother or half-sister. It is one thing to engage in the type of behavior you engage in, but an entirely different thing to have it recorded and displayed for millions to see. In another interview, you talked about how you are able to “feed your family” and while I don’t knock your hustle, you have to really ask yourself is it worth it? Even if you are acting, you are leaving a legacy for all of your children, a legacy that you can’t be too proud of otherwise you would want your daughter to be involved with a man like you.
From the therapy session, you seem to have unresolved issues within your heart as it relates to your own family, specifically with your mother. It seems that you are making the women around you – Mimi, Joseline and whoever else pay for the pain she caused you by abandoning you. Perhaps that experience is holding your sense of self-control hostage. Sexual promiscuity can be a form of self-medication, just like alcoholism, and just like drug addiction.
You’re hot right now. Even more “hot” than in the 90s when you won your three Grammy’s, because then you were behind the camera. While people hear of producers, their magic really happens behind the scenes. Perhaps you are a musical genius, but your current reality TV persona is overshadowing that and you are turning a lot of people – potential fans and consumers off. As a wise man once said, “hotness cools off.” This reality TV thing will only provide you with 15 minutes of fame and while the radio hosts and the journalists may be laughing with you on camera, they are mocking you off camera. While women may be literally throwing their panties at you to become your next conquest now, these same women will shun you when the spotlight burns out. Consider reconciling with Mimi who obviously loved you and was there before the reality show. Even if you don’t want to be with Mimi – allow her the honor of keeping your exploits behind closed doors (off camera) and stop misleading her with lies. Consider keeping the business and the personal separate and most of all, consider your children and the fact that once you are old you will have to look them in the eye and you want to be able to do that with the dignity of your brilliance and not the regret of your buffoonery.
A Concerned Fan