Are You Comparing Your Partner to a Movie or TV Character?

It all started with an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians (don’t ask). Kourtney and her boyfriend Scott got into a huge argument because she said he wasn’t romantic. She begged Scott to get in the bed to watch Titanic with her, and Scott went on a rampage about how Leonardo DiCaprio was just acting and how OF COURSE he and Kate had great chemistry. “IT’S A MOVIE…”

Then, while reading Clutch Mag I come across a headline that said “The Notebook Inspired His Divorce.” R. Kelly told TMZ:

“As the film credits started to roll, I couldn’t move. I burst into tears. People walking past me patted me on the back, trying to console me. The Notebook was beautiful, and I was crying because its hero and heroine had died together. But I was also crying because I remembered a Valentine’s Day — when a helicopter dropped a rainfall of roses — that had come and gone …. My marriage had died. And there was nothing I could do to bring it back.”

Here are these two grown people who have an unrealistic feeling about love because of something based on fiction. Honestly, we’re set up for it. From the time we’re little we’re told about these knights in shining armor, and we read these fairy tales about “happily ever after,” but the truth is sometimes it does get dark and downright ugly in a long-term relationship.

There are some days where you can’t keep your hands off one another, and there are some days where you can’t be far enough apart from one another. That is the reality. There are some days where you will talk for hours and hours and hours, and there are others where you will sit in silence – choking silence, peaceful silence, paranoid silence – no words will be exchanged.

You can really be putting your relationship on the line if you compare your partner to one of these fictional characters because they’ll never measure up to a figment of someone else’s imagination.

While it’s fun to read about and watch these perfect Made for TV, scripted romances, remember to keep in mind that true love – which is based on sacrifice, and compromise, and honesty – is hard work…

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2 Comments

Filed under Love

2 responses to “Are You Comparing Your Partner to a Movie or TV Character?

  1. This post is right on point! For myself, I sometimes find that I start to do this when me and the hubby are having an argument or rough patch which actually distracts me from solving the real problem. I also think that another title for this could be are you comparing your partner to your friends partner? That can be just as dangerous ya know.? I find that sometimes my single (or partnered) peeps will be like oh your husband is soo amazing, I wish I had somebody do xyz. No matter how much I tell them that it is hard work or that it is not perfect, they fixate on certain aspects. Being married that is something I have to stop myself from doing, especially when I am angry or when we haven’t talked in a while..comparing my mate to other people’s mate b/c that will never get to the heart of the true matter of my relationship.

    Thanks for the reminder :-)

    xo

    Kandice

  2. Kandice! Thanks so much for the reminder :)

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